Weathering

Weathering Life...

Life. Breath..a beating heart..a mind..a soul..a spirit.
If I live to fill only myself, then all of my life rots in the grave with my body.
When I live to fill others, I either starve and suffocate myself or else I learn to fill myself by filling others. When I can do that, life is rich both for me and for those around me. My mind...it grows and my thoughts cloud with life's experiences...nothing is as easy as it once was. My soul struggles to fit its own blueprint while coordinating with the blueprints of loved ones around me...nothing ever seems to fit neatly and takes constant work, but it has value that exceeds the battle wounds. My spirit searches, sometimes grows weary, and will someday rest from weathering life's storms.

Weathering Love...

Love. Tender affection..obligation..passionate connection.
Emotion can be an element of love, but love is more of an attitude. Love is my obligation to another that makes me try to love myself by first loving, giving to, and doing for the other; it should allow me to let go of many small disappointments and some big ones. It is also a connection forged by shared dreams, shared memories, and a passionate admiration and respect that nurtures growth in each other and also fulfills physical desire. Ideally, all three elements of love are present at all times, but they often...dare I admit, usually - aren't. That's part of the weathering, like a weather vane that changes direction with each breath of wind.

Weathering Truth.

Truth is absolute only in relation to God. I find no other absolute truth. But simple truth in relation to life, I have found, evolves, changes, adapts, but remains authentic. I have loved, lived; I still love, live; but the shape of both have changed. My life, my love is still authentic; it is just weathered and wears a different expression. a different palette. Do I need to seek truth? No, I don't think so. Truth is. Today, truth is doing what needs to be done and trying to bring joy and kindness to those I come in contact with no matter how I feel because how I feel always changes and is a lousy scale to base truth upon. If I don't feel like it, but still do it, is it authentic? It is, because it's just skipping over the poorer and owning the better. And within myself I become richer, fuller for it - not by keeping score, but by not settling for the poorer. Weathering truth is a life based on making higher choices from our present baseline and authenticating our present.

And what sweet victory there can be.